God revealed to me my old, sinful self and reminded me of my need for Him. It is that self that I like to forget, that self that is not very gracious and forgiving, that self that focuses solely on my wants and desires while forgetting my neighbor, that self that feels like I am owed something greater. When I peered into the mirror I didn’t like what it revealed, but I could not turn away because I knew what I saw to be true. As I wept in shame He put His arms around me and offered me consolation. In that He put to death my old, sinful self…drowned him…I wept and as I lay there dying and gasping I breathed out all that was left and took my last breath and then awoke anew.
When I awoke I saw the others and my heart broke as I saw myself in them. The suffering of my heart increased because though all lay dying, gasping they were pushing away the giver of new life, the rescuer, the Savior. They were clinging to the old, fearful to let go, angry because they didn’t like what was revealed and blamed God for what they saw.
As I saw my, old sinful self I wanted him to die and my Lord granted me my desire. As I see my old, sinful self my Lord let’s me die and raises me up. My old, sinful self sputters as my Lord bids me death and gives me new life. The selfish heart is removed and my Lord gives me His and I weep for what I am and sing praises to who He creates in me. Today is a good day to die, so that I may rise to new life. I die so that I may live, I die so that He may live in me, I die daily this death as I turn to my Lord and He reveals to me my old, sinful self.